Emotional intelligence, then, refers to: (1) the ability to diagnose and recognize your own emotions, (2) the ability to control your own emotions, (3) the ability to recognize and diagnose the emotions displayed by others, and (4) the ability to respond appropriately to those emotional cues. These abilities are not in-born but can be developed and improved. Unlike IQ, for example, which remains relatively constant over a lifetime, emotional intelligence can be enhanced with practice. With concerted effort, people can change their levels of emotional intelligence.
One reason emotional intelligence is so importan is that general competency levels seem to have deteriorated over time. Whereas average IQ points have increased almost 25 points over the last 100 years people tend to be smarter now than 100 years ago, emotional intelligence scores have actually declined. Think, for example, of the amount of litigation, conflict, disrespect, and divorce that characterizes our society. Less emphasis is placed on emotional intelligence development now than in the past. This is a problem because emotional intelligence has strong predictive power regarding success in relationships and career.
Factors:
Emotional intelligent people are also able to regulate and control their emotions. They are less likely to blow up and lose control, less likely to experience debilitating depression and anxiety, and manage their own emotional states than those with less emotional intelligence.
Emotionally intelligent people also respond appropriately to the emotions of others. Their responses match the intensity of the emotions other people feel and they support and encourage emotional expressions. That is, if others are excited and happy, they do not remain aloof and withdrawn. They endorse the expression of emotions in others, rather than suppressing or censoring those emotions. On the other hand, they are not merely manipulated in their feelings and responses by the emotions of others. They don’t respond merely on the basis of others’ feelings. Rather, they remain in personal control of their responses. They advance a sense of caring for, and acceptance of, the other person by means of their emotional responses.
General areas of emotional intelligence: emotional awareness, emotional control or balance, emotional diagnosis or empathy, and emotional response. Of course, a fully accurate and valid measure of these factors would help you to pursue the development of your emotional intelligence.
Source:David A. Whetten, Developing emotional intelligence.
The Sacred Shift | Intuitive Guidance With Suzette Lindo 