Often, when we find ourselves in the heat of an argument frustrated, unheard, or emotionally cornered we may instinctively reach for whatever tools we believe will help us win, be understood, or regain a sense of control. And one of the most common but rarely acknowledged behaviors in these moments is manipulation.
Most of us don’t set out to manipulate consciously. In fact, it often happens subconsciously, rooted in emotional survival patterns learned over time. But when we lack the skills or emotional safety to express our needs directly, manipulation becomes a shortcut. It might look like guilt-tripping, withdrawal, silent treatment or even something more subtle and intimate: using sex as a tool to control the outcome of the conflict.
This isn’t always malicious. Sometimes it’s offering intimacy as a way to smooth things over without resolving the issue. Other times, it’s withholding affection until the other person “gives in” or admits fault. In either case, sex becomes currency, not connection. Power, not partnership.
Over time, these patterns silently chip away at the foundation of trust in a relationship. They breed unspoken resentments, emotional distance, and confusion. Intimacy begins to feel transactional rather than mutual. The bedroom, which should be a place of safety and closeness, starts to carry the weight of unresolved arguments and power struggles.
Eventually, what remains isn’t a marriage rooted in love, respect, and understanding but a fragile structure built on manipulation and silence. And many don’t even realize it’s happening until the damage feels irreversible.
The Sacred Shift | Intuitive Guidance With Suzette Lindo 