Speaking from firsthand experience, I went into marriage believing, like most people do, that love alone would be enough to make it last. You don’t walk down the aisle planning for divorce. You expect the commitment to carry itself simply because vows were exchanged. But marriage doesn’t survive on intention alone; it survives on effort.
Being married taught me that love is not just a feeling, it’s a practice. It requires consistency, honest communication, emotional maturity, and mutual respect, especially when things are uncomfortable. Too often, people enter marriage expecting it to work itself out, without realizing that a healthy marriage demands daily participation. You have to choose each other repeatedly, even on days when it would be easier to withdraw, stay silent, or keep score.
Divorce was never part of the plan, yet it became part of my story. And while painful, it revealed an important truth: marriage doesn’t fail because of differences in background, culture, or skin color. It fails when effort stops. When communication breaks down. When respect erodes. When one or both people stop showing up emotionally.
Coparenting after divorce added another layer of understanding. It reinforced how essential consistency and respect truly are, not just for the adults involved, but for the children watching and learning what relationships look like. Coparenting works best when ego is set aside and both parties remain committed to cooperation, accountability, and clear communication. Even outside of marriage, the principles that sustain a healthy relationship don’t change.
The reality is this: marriage is work. Not the kind of work that drains you endlessly, but the kind that requires intention, growth, and responsibility. Love must be supported by action. Commitment must be reinforced by behavior. And longevity comes from two people who are willing to put in the effort, not just when it’s easy, but especially when it’s not.
A lasting marriage isn’t about who you are on paper, it’s about how you treat each other every day.
The Sacred Shift | Intuitive Guidance With Suzette Lindo 
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